Congratulations are in order. Because I have accomplished the impossible. I now weigh what I weighed when I returned home from the hospital after giving birth to twins ten years ago.
Yes, it’s true. What it took nine months and two actual human being growing inside of my body to accomplish, I’ve managed to do all my own!!!
Yay me.
In case you, too, would like to achieve this milestone, here’s how I did it:
1. The Internet -I spend five to six hours a day sitting on my butt staring at the computer screen writing for this blog, or for TravelingMom.com. Or podcasting or posting for Blogging Angels. Or working on the business plan for my soon-to-be-announced new venture.
Which all means that my butt is completely mushy, but my fingers are in remarkably good shape – -what with all the typing.
2. Orlando - Now I’m not complaining, but I just went on a three night all expense paid trip to the super luxurious Waldorf Astoria in Orlando. (yes, you read that right, Orlando, Florida has a Waldorf. And yes, it really is super luxurious, not tacky luxurious.) The trip was basically eating punctuated by events that involved little to no physical exertion: massages, shopping, lounging by the pool. (you can read all about it here.)
So – and I repeat – I AM NOT COMPLAINING – But (you knew there was going to be a butt but.) all of that eating, and OK, drinking, my two trips to the empty and well-equipped Waldorf Astoria gym notwithstanding, did not do a lot for my bottom line. Well, it did a lot. Just the wrong a lot. If you know what I mean.
3. Trader Joe’s. Trader Joe”s: I love you. I love your prices. I love your vibe. I love your funny little signs. Sadly, I also love all of your nut-filled (i.e. fat filled) trail mixes. Damn you, NY Landmark Preservation Society. Had you acted faster, Trader Joe’s would not be tempting me with it’s delicious snacks!
4. My Kids’ Laptops – Before my kids were required to bring their laptops back and forth from school, I walked them to school, then walked home, then walked back to school to get them, then walked home again. For a grand total of 5.5 miles.
Now, they have laptops. And even with the wheely bags, it’s too hard to schlepp across the park. So now the kids take the school bus, I walk the dog for 30 minutes, and then it’s back to the computer – aka sitting on my ass.
5. Me. I am not above taking responsibility for my own actions. I eat too much. I don’t exercise enough. So sue me. Please. Because a law suit, that might cost me so much money I wouldn’t have anything left for food, and I would LOSE weight.
So what am I gonna do about it?
1. Zumba Fitness® Classes -A few weeks ago, I went to an event for the Zumba Fitness® videogame for Wii, Playstation Moe, Playstation® 3 and Xbox Kinect. I tried it. It was hard. It was fun. It was really really good exercise. And since – with the new game – I can do Zumba Fitness® in my living room, I will no longer have the excuse of not being able to get to the gym. See the new Zumba Fitness® game (and yes, they told me I have to keep on using that little copyright symbol EVERY SINGLE TIME I SAY ZUMBA, I mean Zumba.®) lets you pick the length of your routine, the difficulty level, the music – even the setting. And you get to dance around like a lunatic without anyone getting to see your jiggly bits.(like Niecy Nash says)
Check it out:
I like this idea.
When the Zumba Fitness® Game finally comes out,On November 18th, I will buy it — yes, with my very own money. And I will do it. Not only to lose weight, but because it was fun. Yes – I have called a form of exercise fun. Call the papers. Or the FBI – someone has kidnapped my exercise hating self.
Until Novmeber 18th, until, that is, the Zumba Fitness® Game is available, it’s the gym for me. And ballroom twice a week, and yoga. Because there are no Zumba fitness® classes during the day in NYC, and daytime is my workout time. Just the way it is. Plus, by the time November 18th rolls around, I’ll have – well, less rolls around, and I won’t feel so awkward playing the game.
And how will I have lost the rolls? By replacing one meal a day with a Healthy Choice Cafe Steamers frozen entree.
Full Disclosure: I am going to use my Healthy Choice coupons for free frozen diet food that actually tastes…like food! That actually has an ingredient list with a normal number of perfectly pronounceable ingredients. (I like the mushroom risotto) And that has – wait for it – NO PRESERVATIVES.
And because I am so nice, I’m going to give away a few of those coupons too. Leave a comment below – telling me what caused you to need to eat Healthy Choice, and I will send two lucky winners two coupons each for a free Healthy Choice entree. (If you just leave a “I want to win” comment, you won’t be entered. )
So – wait – I’m going to eat right, and exercise?
Call the papers!
Contest open to US residents 18 and older. Contest ends Oct 22nd at 11pm eastern. Two winners will be picked at random by random.org.
